It sounds like the title of an amazing story filled with jelly shots, loud music, and a little bit of don't try this at home violence... but it's more bringing a little bit of our magical Christmas spirit into your lives. The jelly shots and the violence are optional.
Here's our top 10 songs to help you into the Christmas mood - in no particular order (or maybe we're just fucking with you like they do on TV...)
(1) The Killers - Don't Shoot Me Santa
[Don't Shoot Me Santa - Single]
One of our first brushes with the alternative Christmas genres, this song never fails to make us smile - and that's even before watching the video. Imagine if being on the naughty list meant more than a lump of coal and you'll get the idea. Originally recorded for the charity RED, buying it might just clinch your place on the nice list this year...
(2) James Yuill - Winter Wonderland
[A Christmas Gift To You From Moshi Moshi]
If you're not quite ready to embrace the alternative yet, you might want to start here. A new take on an old classic, it feels a bit like your traditional carol on an acid trip. With acoustic guitar mixing beautifully with synth, you'll never go back to the original.
(3) Summer Camp - Christmas Wrapping
[A Christmas Gift To You From Moshi Moshi]
There's just something about this song that feels like you could listen to it at any time of the year without feeling weird. Yet it's just so perfectly Christmas with the ringing bells and the crystal tones of Elizabeth's vocals that it makes the list easily. Try not to be singing along by the end - we dare you.
(4) The Hurts - All I Want For Christmas Is New Year's Day
[All I Want For Christmas Is New Years Day - Single]
So we all know Christmas isn't always candy canes and love over hot chocolate, and this is articulated perfectly in this song. Totally haunting and still unarguably Christmas-sy, it'll touch your heart - and if you're hurting this season, you'll know you're not alone.
(5) Fall Out Boy - Yule Shoot Your Eye Out
[Believers Never Die]
Now from one kind of hurt to another - this is unashamedly a song for those whose holiday spirit does not extend to those who've wronged us over the year (because here at Tantrum we don't get mad, we get even.) 'Merry Christmas, I could care less.' Couldn't have said it better ourselves boys.
(6) The Ramones - Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight Tonight)
[Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight Tonight - Single]
Absolutely timeless, the Ramones hit the spirit perfectly. With riffs so infectious the cold has competition this season, this song would makes anyone's wishlist. (And if whoever you're spending Christmas with is driving you crazy, check the video - we promise it's worth it just for the 80s storyline.)
(7) Tom Waits - Postcard From A Hooker In Minneapolis
[Blue Valentine]
Oh come on, if you don't take at least a mild interest in the song title you've got to be dead. Now we've always been in two minds about Tom Waits, legendary as he is, but this song is such a firm favourite it's easy to overlook that. From an album of wonders, this is just ridiculously sublime.
(8) Hot Club de Paris - Will You Still Be In Love With Me Next Year?
[A Christmas Gift To You From Moshi Moshi]
This song is what it would sound like if the Arctic Monkeys embraced the Christmas spirit. With clever lyrics and an upbeat sound tinged with the traditional bell chimes, this is set to be a holiday favourite for years to come.
(9) Bright Eyes - O Little Town of Bethlehem
[A Christmas Album]
If you're looking at our list and wondering if we've totally abandoned the religious element of Christmas, never fear - we've just chosen a slightly atypical version of a song everyone will remember from nativity plays of old. Oberst's voice is on top form in this song, and it'll bring back the warm fuzzy feeling that comes with Christmas childhood memories.
And of course, it goes without saying what our final track is... but we don't want you to think we cheated you of a tenth track, so here you are lovely readers.
(10) The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl - Fairytale of New York
[Any true Christmas Compilation - Originally Fairytale of New York - Single]
This song has been a classic for so long that no Christmas list could be complete without it. A gorgeous blend of genres with the famous glad tiding 'Happy Christmas your arse, I pray god it's our last' - some things are legendary for a reason.